I have lost motivation to create, and that’s really been bothering me.
Honestly, I’ve been struggling with motivation to do anything. The grind of full time work, trying to maintain the household, and what feels like the eternal winter has me frozen, creatively. Looking back, I wrote a blog post about the same time last year, Create Change, with similar sentiment to how I am feeling right now. I don’t adapt well to winter; the cold makes my body cranky, clearing snow is physically challenging, the landscape is dreary, and driving can be scary. What I should be doing is snuggling into my sewing space with a hot cup of tea and churning out creative things. What I find myself doing is shutting down, hibernating, and avoiding action.
Looking back at 2025, I am quite proud of what I accomplished. I completed the opossum art quilt, which was a significant step in healing after the loss of my husband. My daughter began high school which was a huge positive improvement in her mental health. I am in a healthy relationship with someone, who has supported and lifted me in ways I never could have imagined and for whom I am so very grateful.
There is still a lot of work to do. I continue to isolate and avoid deep connections. It’s hard to leave my house, yet being at home brings a level of frustration because I still have so much cleaning, organization and improvement to do. There was progress made during the summer, filling two huge dumpsters in an effort to create a minimalist environment. But there is still so much left to do, and winter has me feeling overwhelmed again.
During the fall, I focused mostly on crochet, making a sweater, fingerless gloves, and hats. Then I spent a few weeks trying to decide if I wanted to build the skills to make bags. Recently, I have been working on hand embroidery. I have had no desire to quilt, and these other creative tasks haven’t been as fulfilling as I had hoped.
I like to tell myself I’m in an idea generation era. I have lots of ideas, sketches, lists of things I want to create. I’ve been really good at making plans, but not so great at executing anything. I have to remind myself that I am moving forward, even though it is very very slowly, it is still forward movement, and that’s ok.
My word of the year for 2025 was swivel. Nearly three weeks into 2026, I still haven’t chosen a motivating word for the year, but I know I want it to be something related to taking action.
